The locust called love

I once told someone not too long ago that if I put all my friends that I have accumulated over the years together in a room, it may not make for a giant party, but it will surely result in some jaw-dropping (pun intended) violence within the first 10 minutes. But a common strain that cuts across this diverse bunch of people (I am not speaking for all of them, merely making a vague generalisation) is the love of, or desire for, love. As an (just a little bit though) aside, I also read a quote recently which I thought very profound, "Desire does not desire satisfaction. To the contrary, desire desires desire."

The point is, I have been prompted more than once by life to think about love, and its wide-spread affliction in this world. And my thoughts go something like this.

There is love - the emotion, and very distinct from it is the idea of being in love. Many of us keep chasing the idea of being in love, because well, love is, after all, a great exhilarating feeling. The problem is, we get too caught up in that chase. Life is not fair, and love does not happen to everyone. There is no point making yourself miserable over not having 'found' love, or even more miserable in trying to find it while putting yourself through fucked up relationships one after the other.

Of course, there are those who think that every relationship they had was out of love, and that is, according to me, bullshit. But this line of thought has at least one benefit - it could make for a happier and more peaceful life, which I think is what every life is meant for. But there is no need to tie the idea of love to happiness, and its a common mistake, as I have seen. If love happens, good. If it doesn't, still good. The idea of there being a perfect match for us all is a myth, and if I found the first person who began its propaganda, I would gladly rip his balls out with my bare hands. :)

The concept of perfect love or a perfect match is pure fantasy, like unicorns (which are infinitely more possible) or utopia (in its objective sense, and in not a personal subjective way). So to quote Jim, my good old dead friend, "Please don't chase the clouds, pagodas". People change all the time, including your self. Someone who seems perfect today may not seem as immaculate tomorrow, unless you expect two different unique people to change entirely in sync throughout their lives, which is a rather unreasonable expectation.

I am not trying to say that one should give up on love. Au contraire, even though it is perhaps among the most over-rated things ever. What I am saying is that as it is, we humans tend to let too many emotions get in the way of our lives, love being the most pressing of them all. And that is not a very smart thing to do. And no, I don't want to be told about love being irrational or other such bullshit, because I have been there, done that. And for those who know me well (admittedly, there aren't too many of those) will vouch for me when I say I know what I am talking about.

Another sort of side-track. Love is distinct from lust, but they are very close cousins, at least as long as we can still get it up (and for women, as long as they can still get it on, hormonal troubles notwithstanding). The two can co-exist in one person, and it is even better if the two are felt for the same person!

So yeah, stop being in love with love. And enjoy life while you still can. I think I wanted to write more, but I have been side-tracked, and I need to get back to writing about how television ushered in modernity etc in my lovely cunt (a great abbreviation for country that I stole from Megha, hehe.)