I wouldn't blame you if you thought I have somewhat of a fixation with dreams. So anyway, here is a brief, sanitised version of the dream that I woke up from in a state of considerable agitation.
In essence, everything was going wrong in my life and around it. I was beat, downbeat and beat up. Bad things were happening to my near and dear ones, sometimes with gruesome violence. And the few who escaped the 'carnage' were, for whatever reasons, inflicting great pain on me, my person, my mind and my soul. I was truly and wholly abandoned and forsaken, with copious amounts of venom especially and pointedly directed at me. In my dream, as I flitted from one place in my life to another - trying to keep something, anything, in my life being utterly destroyed, or destructive - I wondered why it was happening.
And in the dream itself, as bits of consciousness floated into it, I figured it may be my conscience (or my mind, or my heart, or my whatever the fuck else) trying to tell me to stop being such an arsehole in general, to fix my idea of morals, to appreciate human beings more, to actively cherish and value the people in my life, to stop hoping for bad things to happen to others and the world, etc and blah. In short, something in me trying to scare me (or if you like to put it another way, to warn me of the error of my ways).
I won't lie, so I won't say that I didn't care about the dream. As I said, I woke up pretty agitated. A piss and a glass of water later, I was calm and pensive. A couple of minutes of thought, and thank you very much, but I am alright the way I am.
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19 comments:
Wow. Almost thought you might have been experiencing The Rapture!!!!
Ohhhh.. :p
It's easier to say that the good thing about dreams is that they can be forgotten, than make it easy on us by appreciating who we are when we wake up.
Or is there really some eerie something up with the world these days :p
For some reason though, I find myself rather inspired by a strangity like a drain-dream or a metaphysical update on reality.
i don't really give that much merit to dreams. one way or the other, they usually amuse me (i have a rather strange personal definition of "amuse") and i tend to leave it at that. trying to make sense of dreams is pretty much up there with the likes of understanding the universe and such. you know, using the tip of the iceberg to make statements about all that lies beneath the surface. so i just smile, or grin and bear.
amusing. still, considering we change in the moment, consternation to continuity is self defeating, unless you play levels to an essence.
still, consider that which you do not know, don't dismiss it based on that which you do know.
This world
Is but
A fleeting dream
So why be alarmed
At its evanescence?
- Ikkyu (1394-1481)
consternation "to" continuity? doesn't make sense. and who dismissed what where? i said i don't try to make sense of it, for the unknown is too great to even try effectively. and because i know there is much i do not know does not mean i dwell on the unknown endlessly. rather, try know more, or if you like (and this is a great option actually), bugger it and just concentrate on having a good time.
the way you are, metamorph; only at depth is there stillness, only momentary clarity is. the supergreat unknown, or supermundane, in the part the whole reflected, but only part it remains; happy the way it is, you are, perhaps, this is just a comment, reflected shades of another traveler, not more. make sense, why should it? if is, then sense is of the subject, not the object, but if subject is object, then what is sense but a mental form? have fun to a life well lived, but if living were not, then living is not, only known when living can not, too late to be lived again; so fuck it, no? it's just a rollercoaster ride, lets all drink and be merry, escape is to easy to squander, yes?
please tengu please start your own blog. why will you unleash upon us hapless innocents who visit this page but for idle amusement this barrage of unrelated words strung together???
I have begun to shudder at the thought that perhaps you mr./miss./whatever tengu aren't one person but a group of monkeys punching away at typewriters constantly, thus producing purely by the laws of probability these sentences in english. or is it that you are swedish and using babel fish but losing anything of meaning to the follies of translation???
Dear Tengu, P.S. : Getting rid of your virginity may be an effective cure to your "swedish-ness"
hmmm.... between tengu and anon, i needn't say more. too much, way too much of a clash in world views for me to want to attempt to reason. and yeah, the unintelligibility really doesn't help. might as well be talking in martian (and i am not sure if getting laid is a valid cure).
ahahahahahahahaha
anon, you really crack me up like the half boiled egg that i am.
considering heritage, the IT skills on display are amazing.
getting laid, well, a gentleman dose not talk of such things. i will let you be with thy amorous behavior (sexual frustration maybe?), as some of us seek the love of truth, not chasing a fools gold glitter (he-man, just lay her, perhaps a golden egg might arise :p).
and delete at will, but you know better, for if not, i ponder whether you ever were the poet claimed within thy verse.
hahhahah hahahahhahahhahah, omg this anonymous dude/dudette/bi-dette is quite funny:p
gentlemen talk of (and do) all manner of things, provided the setting and (sometimes) intoxication level are appropriate. as do ladies.
if i were to lay anon, provided it is female, it is certainly not for the golden eggs.
love of truth? pretty funny statement, considering all your blah about constructs. right after telling me about considering what i do not know, you assume you know there is indeed such a thing as truth. anyway, happy loving truth (and whether or not gentlemen talk about it, you never can lay truth, no matter how much you love it).
and your "delete at will" was the shittiest (comprehensible) thing from you in a while.
fashion lover, glad to have provided an entertainment platform. spread the word! :p
love of truth is a construct, but one seeking to dig behind another concept traded quite freely. i assume not, i just observe, and that is subjective perception all round.
in terms of language, the next time you post poetry that is not written in standard english, i will take you to task, word for word. perhaps that is all poetry is, rhyme, rhythm and meter, and then i wonder, whatever happened to creativity? must it be comprehensible, and if so, for whom? then are we really talking of the object, or has not the focus shifted to the subject? Foucaulize. :p (also for the love of truth, lol, but no shit, its straight from him)
ps and what difference does sex make for anon? considering that pregnant male in the states, couldn't the whole thing be repeated?
anon confused. seriously confused. anon wondering how suddenly sex with anon is also important sub plot in this saga that already seems more tiresome than watching the bold and beautiful cast age day by single boring day. as for creativity. it neednt be comprehensible but in some cases, like shit (which should also be deemed the product of creativity my a-sexual, gonadless tengu considering you live in a "construct free" environment) it should be a) flushed for purposes of general hygiene b)kept in a secret place for viewing pleasure of the creator's self. ....fyi, it is she.
anon, it's kinda obvious you're a she, like, it might be kinda obvious i know the blogger :p
'nough said.
for tengu, just because the construct of love of truth seeks to "dig behind" something else from your perspective does not mean it is anything more significant than say, the pellets of goat poo. screw standard language, but if you can't get your point across using whatever words you choose to, then it may be a wiser strategy to talk intelligibly. else, might as well keep your peace and save everyone time and yourself energy. it has nothing to do with creativity. and just because there is a pregnant male in the states does not mean i am going to be queer. and it may not be that obvious to you, but maybe the anon in question also knows the blogger? far better than most other people even? :p
for anon, you seem to have too much time on your hands... why not go get rid of some facial hair? :p and since you are a she, sex with anon takes on a rather important place. how about dinner, and something more ;), some time?
and both of you, take this elsewhere. enough commentary on this post from the two of you.
yo. i don't doubt you know everyone (well, nearly) whom chooses to comment on your blog
(you did advertise:D)
the question then becomes whether communication should be geared to the one communicated to or whether the communicated to should adapt to be more receptive (leaving aside innate or sociality in prepping for coms abilities :p). it returns to another question of whether one should be flexible or maintain a constant coherence 'true' to whatever ideology they're following. flexibility is also coherence (diff logic sys). also, if you want to be cynical, apply this then to the hypo situ of listening to the 'truth' (lol if ever there was). all of a sudden, being flexible in communication or reception are meaningless, as both will miss the boat if the message can't be assimilated, just as stubbornness to hold on to a particular 'way' (hehe) can blind to anything else 'out there'. there's no answer, except perhaps to agree that diversity, if misunderstood, should be left alone, instead of degenerating into meaningless banter that takes away from the 'core'. also, 'intelligibly' stinks of domination. fuck dat and fuck anyone who raises the banner of censorship under some personal whim of their own ideological making (i'm quite sure you'd agree :D :p)
the sender usually has more of a reason to send than the receiver to receive, unless the former happens to be something along the lines of a spiritual guru or some such. so where the onus for successful a communique falls is not that difficult to discern. censorship, based on whim or ideology or whatever else, doesn't even enter the picture.
intelligibly is not anything to do with domination. indulge in bear growls all you like, but not in my space, if you please.
spiritual guru or some such. why reference to already been forms of communication? where then is the space for new creative formations? stop scratching your brain for things we both already know, let other possibilities arise, but they need space.
where the onus falls depends on the context, depends on the message, depends on the participants, depends on the will, depends on reason. many a variable.
censorship and intelligibility. :p language and the system of meaning are terrains for struggle, even common normative structures are approached from different angles (bourdieu, '79) and those with power will impose their discourse on subordinates (mcnally, '95) and even if it is not believed, the same situation will give rise to diverse interpretations (scott, '85), and language becomes a battlefield, intelligibility but a form of domination. it's not a question of digging deeper, but seeing things for what they are. we are all ideologues, of our own devices.
bear growls? really, has it come to this? a shame. my door will always be open.
why don't you do a PhD in going off tangent? when i say something to make a point, i like to do it in a SIMPLE fashion, something that you obviously have a problem with. there is lots of space in the world for many things, i am just asking for mine to be treated the way i like it. does not mean censorship, merely means stay on the same plane. if you want to take off, there are other means of communication than this.
the spiritual guru was an example of a variable. if you want to list out many of them, up to you. but i still maintain that in more cases than not, the onus is on the sender of the message. more cases than not is not all.
domination? you are the one inexorably trying to dominate this banter with academic discourse, merely because i understand it, with no regard for what i want this space to be like. that does not mean dont use it here, it merely means dont hardsell it here, which is what you do only too often, in spite of me telling you not to a few times. being an ideologue of your chosen device is different from being militantly so.
the "bear growls" was a replacement for "monkey talk" with reference to the yogi bear. pity you didn't get the reference. but then again, i dont blame you. you seem too caught up in thoughts of ideological domination :p
and yes, this has gone on too far without much reason. as i said, there are other ways of communicating. lets not harass unsuspecting visitors.
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