Has a total stranger ever mistaken you for someone else? Have you had a difficult time convincing the said stranger that you are, in fact, you and not the "Abhijeet or Abhinav from the drag in Noida"? What the fuck is the drag in Noida, you may ask. Well, I certainly did.
Increasingly, I have been faced with such situations. Random people in random places think I am someone else equally random. The guy at a property dealer's office who wanted my entire life history just to figure out where he knew me from. I finally told him he must have seen me on TV. The girl at a film studio who swore she met me the previous night at a party in Oshiwara when I hadn't been there in at least half a year. I blamed it on her beer goggles from the previous night, making some hobo look as sexy as me. This guy in the pub last night who got really annoyed at me not being a part of the Noida drag, whatever that is. Sounds like a bunch of half-witted trolls, at best. Anyway, it ended on a mutual fuck-you note, topped with stupid laughter.
Anyhow, these and other such instance have caused some thinking about why this could be happening.
One, my face is rather commonplace. Given the laws of probability and the human populace and my baseless estimates, I guess there could be about 10000 or so other people on this planet with the same face as me. I mean, I have seen strangers I have thought looked a lot like some friend or acquaintance of mine, and on one occasion, I also asked a guy if he was Shiv. But that was based more on similarity of mannerisms than anything else. Anyhow, so yeah, this is a likely possibility. I would be more convinced though if I ever saw one of my lookalikes with my own two eyes.
Two, people are blind as dicks. They can't tell their own elbows from their someone else's arse. So they think they get more arse than they actually do. Same way, wishful thinking. Everyone wants to know the good-looking smart funny guy who is the life of the room. This is more probable than the first possibility.
Three, I have a doppelganger. One of my many secret enemies (if they exist) or god (if it exists) or maybe the spawn of those earthworms I ate as a kid, but someone somewhere made this person to trail me and play me, giving me a bad name. After all, who doesn't love the good old fashioned total annihilation of the Ubermensch? This possibility, is of course, very highly likely.
If I see one of these fake masked bastards around, I will try my best to do a face off. I mean, come on. First my face, then my identity and sperm, then my sanity which is precarious enough already. Nip it in the bud, I say!
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2 comments:
My two cents...A drag is a car race that takes place not in a race track but a straight line road. Now the only sense I can make out of "Noida Drag" is that maybe some fools were racing on the DND and calling it a drag!!
i know drag races. but i doubt he was referring to one of those. i think he was referring to some sort of a group of people (who are most likely not in to racing of any sort, except maybe to the toilet to empty their weak bladders) who may even be dressing in drag, though i doubt that too. racing on the DND?? sounds like a surefire way to land up in another drag called jail!
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