Celestial events are tending to bring out the worst in me, and at the best of times at that. Well, some of them are also seemingly bringing about not so good times, but I prefer to think of that as part of the general shit in life. But given my general astral enthusiasm, it is ridiculous how so much shit has tagged along for the ride.
As the longest lunar eclipse in over 30 years is about to start, my thoughts race hundreds of kilometres, but not vertically. They transport themselves along the horizontal axis, to a time and place I had rather they not be at. Them being there takes my mind firmly off the present (which the wise old turtle in Kung Fu Panda tells us is a gift) and lodges it just as firmly in the past, therefore screwing up the future. After all, linearity of time is something I haven't, in all my wisdom, been able to alter.
Since the Purgatory is a result of one's own past actions, the only way to escape it is by trying to redeem oneself in the present. And that is precisely what I am being unable to do. Even at the risk of a blind world, I am crying for an eye for an eye. And then I am bemoaning the absence of eyes to gouge out. Maybe I should use mine to watch the night sky, lying on a mattress on the terrace, what with the spectacle about to unfold. Especially since I realise well that even if I did turn the world blind, I would still be pretty fucking upset about my own missing eye.
So I try to calm my stirring heart, which wants to leap out my throat. I try to calm my shaking fists, which want to break a certain face. I try to calm my quivering voice, which wants to scream and shout. And at the same time, I try to again convince myself that the magnificent bosom, my favourite pillow, better than them all, is better off without my head resting on it.
In the middle of this inert confusion, at least I am safe from committing another sin. But given this mind-numbing heart-rending soul-wrenching inertia, how the hell am I supposed to teach myself Japanese?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
4 comments:
Fill your heart with love today
Don't play the game of time
Things that happened in the past
Only happened in your Mind
Only in your Mind, forget your Mind
And you'll be free.....
Such words of wisdom, they truly touch my heart. Are you suggesting I do something to erase memories? And it is this incessant pursuit of being 'free' that has landed me in half the shit I have found myself in life. Now that I don't care much about it, the nice shackles I once had lie shattered in millions of pieces all around... It's not so much about the game of time, it is at least as much about the game of timing too.
You fuck-head :p
Each thing has its time and place. Yearning is good, makes us want to go somewhere, get on with something. It'd be a shame if we didn't 'want to break free' (pun intended).
some things, dear tengu, as i am sure you will testify to too, defy the norms of having 'a' time and place. they just crop up wherever the fuck, like weeds in the garden of life, if you will.
and yearning is like a force, it can drive but it can also stall. so i prefer learning. :P
Post a Comment