And then, there were two

The grand old man had perhaps had a bit too much to smoke. This new batch that Morning Star had been giving him – Lucy Special, he called it – was the bomb. As his enormous and gigantic mind drifted through the infinite depths of dream space, coloured in various hues and twisted into various shapes due to the effects of the substance, god’s body, unbeknownst to him, twitched every now and then.

No one was around when he awoke with a start, perhaps in the middle of a nostalgic dream about the beginning of creation, muttered four words that no one heard and promptly fell back into an intoxicated slumber. The effect of a second “Let there be light”, however, were felt by quite a few. Small surprise, given that another sun had popped up in the sky.

*          *          *

As the skiing industry went into a meltdown and clouds either vaporised or sulked away, all sorts of hell began to break loose.

“These humans use the word hell too loosely,” Lucifer thought to himself. “All the same, there are always the few who redeem the many. I must see to it that Adam gets his due. Even though he doesn’t know himself how potent the stuff he grew is, the results have been fat better than I could have ever hoped for.”

“Oblivious to all this, Adam, Lucifer’s dealer, was on one of his bi-weekly visits to Eve, who practiced the oldest profession there is. He had just dropped some coins in Eve’s outstretched hand and was about to rid himself of his clothes when Lucifer materialised next to her.

“Fuck! Don’t scare me like that, man! And when, in God’s name, will you give me some privacy?”

“Adam, my dear friend, this is a good day and I am in a generous mood.” said Lucifer, as he smiled and cast appreciative glances at Eve while squeezing her thigh.

“But why are you here now? I just gave you enough stuff to knock an army out! And please, get your hands off my woman.”

“Your woman?” asked Lucifer, not hiding his mocking amusement. “Well, so be it. I did say I was in a generous mood.”

And as Adam stood there, jealous, dazed and confused, and Eve sat there, petrified and docile, there was an inaudible pop and the room was empty.

*          *          *

As the world came to an end, and god still slept intoxicated, Morning Star took it upon himself to awaken the grand old man and break the good news to him.

“What the fuck have I done?” were the only words that came out of god’s mouth as he sat with his head in his hands for a very long time.

“Compensation, old man,” suggested Morning Star. “Infinite virility and infinite fecundity, and I have just the right candidates.”

Drug peddler. Whore. Genesis.