Dreaming Emotion

I can't remember thinking too much about emoticons recently, even though I did mention it in my last post, which was only this morning. And that was only because I read and was greatly irked by the usage of "sad smiley" in a newspaper article. The last time I gave emoticons any serious thought was a couple of years ago after watching David Mitchell rant about them and abbreviations peculiar to the Internet chat, such as BRB or LOL.

But last night, I actually dreamt of an emoticon. Not in some abstract way where it had grown wings or fur or a penis. It was just there as it usually is. In fact, it made up an entire text message. It was a 2-character text sent to me that I woke up at some dark hour of the night to read. It made me joyous to read it, especially once I realised who the sender was. And then, I also realised that I was only dreaming. For some reason, the joy lingered despite the realisation and only went away a while ago when I remembered the dream.

:D

Maybe my subconscious was playing tricks with me, telling me in the language of a dream emoticon text that she is happy. And more importantly, that she is also choosing to tell me about it. But in my conscious mind, I know otherwise. For one, she is quite likely not exactly happy. And if she is, she is not going to give me the pleasure of knowing it. She had probably much rather I suffer in not knowing. Not that she thinks I suffer anyway.

I miss her.