On the 3rd of this month, I turned 26. It is a rather unreal, surreal feeling. Just saying it feels almost like a lie, it gives me a strange sensation of being disconnected with myself, like an out of body experience. But a fact is a fact, and the fact is that I am getting old(er). And please don't ask me what I did to celebrate. I don't think birthdays are big deals (likewise for New Year's Eve and religious festivals), and so I don't care about celebrating. Of course, if anyone wants to send any gifts my way, I will happily accept! :)
And for reasons that have nothing to do with age, life is being a little fucked up too. I am sick of going for job interviews, getting through, and then being shown the door (the metaphoric one) on account of my current visa status. And even though it will surely change in the coming 4-5 weeks, it doesn't make me feel any better in the present. And of course, I have to also make ends meet, even if it is only for a hand-to-mouth type of existence. My present shit job is taking its toll on me, with its brain-dead monotone and close to minimum wage pay scale. Maybe this is the right time to feature in a pornographic production and make some quick cash. Anyone got any leads for me?
Before I move on from this age issue though, I must mention the strange feeling evoked by the news of an old friend getting married. Most of my old friends are all the same age as me, and even though the first one got married some 3 years ago, it seems that an increasingly greater number is tying the knot. It just makes everything a lot worse in my mind (in regards to how old I am versus how old I feel) and a lot scarier in my life (the prospect of marriage is perhaps one of the few things that scares me, and no, it has nothing to do with commitment-phobia, as it is called).
So an empty mind is the devil's workshop, or so the saying goes. My mind is quite empty these days for the most part, but I don't have many devilish thoughts. In fact, I find it devoid of the delicious naughty (and no, I don't mean sexual, or at least not just sexual) thoughts that so entertain me usually. I am bored of discussing politics and religion with people, as also with dispensing advice to them about solutions to the myriad of problems they seem always have, most common of which deal with relationships. And no, I do not offer unsolicited advice, but only when specifically asked for it. About time I advised myself, eh?
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9 comments:
who got married btw.
DON'T TELL ME 26 , THAT'S OLD.
hey this is more like it. even i can understand it.
i would give u the crap about how it is good that life sucks otherwise we'd all fall off, but i know it won't he;p/ hey its good to wallow in self pity for a while( yeah, i know u aren't doing it.wallowing i mean)
btw i scarpped as annoymous can u guess who would write such a retarded reply . hint i am not a serial killer or a pedophile.
happy blated b day btw
anon, who got married depends on who you know from among those i am referring to, which would depend on who you are. anyway, its not important as to who got married, what matters is the reaction it evokes.
i am not into guessing games, so i won't bother. you definitely use orkut though, which is not half as interesting as being a paedophile or a serial killer, and if you were either, it wouldn't scare me or put me off.
and thanks for the wishes.
it's interesting that you mentioned being bored of discussing religion and politics. it comes at a tme when i have been contemplating what comprises an interesting conversation. with all my intelligent friends abroad, i have been befriending the denizens of the hip-hop culture of late (yes! they are proliferating, and they are all around!) and i've been made to rethink the way i judge things. as far as conversations go, i know for myself that shopping gets a big thumbs down, apart from that, retarded is fun, so is movies, so is music, so is everything else actually...so when my disdain for stupidity was attacked by a hip-hoppy who asked me what i deemed an interesting conversation, needless to say, i was wordless! there are so many "intellectuals" out there who think if you're not talking politics you're talking ass-wipe....really? oops! this was not meant to be a post hijack...just a thought...errr....comment....err...
don't worry about a post hijack, if it ever comes to it, i will delete the guilty post. :)
hip-hop permeation is BIG, and its a little irritating. since you even mentioned shopping, i will make the sexist assumption that you are a girl. i can't tell you what "interesting" will comprise of, since we all have our own takes on it. but a couple of interesting conversations i have had recently include a discussion about supposed estrogen levels in london tap water leading to 'man boobs', and a feminist reading of kill bill.
yes you are sexist. i'm a man who had a bit of the london tap water!
if you are a man, why the hell would you even consider shopping for conversation?!?!!? maybe the estrogen went to your head instead of your boobs!
bigtime... about tht time you gave yourself some serious advice brother and heed some of it too! you're 26, broke and not yet a celebrated writer!! hehehe... i dnt want to tease you too much considering i'm on course to hit unemployed-ville very soon.
happy birday bru! and take her easy!
raghu, teasing me? when i can usually do a much better job of teasing myself? all the same, the same boat, those in glass houses, etc etc... and you know you don't want me to start teasing you! hehehe
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